2.14.2016

when life is hard

I left off last week saying that we had pretty much kept Cheney away from all humans for well over a week in hopes that her immune system could recover. Well, on Thursday she got a high fever again at school. We went to the pediatrician on Thursday afternoon and our doctor ordered some blood work to be done so we could figure out why she was getting sick so often. That was brutal. Two sweet nurses tried at his office (well after closing time) & couldn't find a good vein. We went to the hospital and I stayed with our feverish & pitiful girl for almost 3 hours there. After 3 more attempts, they finally got what they needed. Cheney was so brave but it was not easy on my mama heart. It was awful. We have some answers but will get more tomorrow. She has had a 102-104 fever all weekend. I'm just so ready for our baby girl to feel good again.
 
That's not even the bulk of it. Last Wednesday we also found out that my mom has cancer. I hate even writing that out. I hate cancer. She's been trying to get answers as to why she is short of breath a lot & they found out that a spot on her lung is cancer. It's small (thank God) and a very slow growing type of cancer.  We are praying, praying, praying that it has not spread to her lymph nodes. She has surgery tomorrow to remove the spot & we will find out more after that.
 
 
This week has been hard.  Hard because it breaks my heart to see my little girl so sick & hard because the unknown is downright scary. I'm a planner. I don't like surprises. I want to know answers to something immediately.
 
This week has been an emotional rollercoaster. I have quite literally felt ALL THE FEELS. I have been mad, sad, overwhelmed, and I have been thankful. Thankful that my mom has great doctors. Thankful that they have a plan of action. Thankful that even though cancer is big (and ugly. and horrible) GOD IS BIGGER.
 
This is the story I read over and over on Thursday morning.  Daniel 3...the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  They chose to be faithful no matter what the consequences were.  I know how I want this story to end. But, if it doesn't go my way, He is still good.
 
He is still good. 

8 comments:

Jen Watts said...

Praying for you friend!

Dawn said...

Laura- I am so sorry friend! That is a lot to carry all at once. I'll be praying for your mom and for Cheney...and YOU! You have a strong faith that will be a source for you during these hard times. I would love to get together sometime. The kiddos would have fun and we could chat!

Lindsay said...

So sorry Laura. That story in Daniel is one of my absolute favorites. I often find myself saying "but even if He doesn't" - just those words bring comfort. Praying you feel His love and glory all around you in these hard times.

Kemble said...

Lomorocks, praying for your mom. Went through similar scare last year with mine and God is awesome. Regardless of outcome, He is awesome. Will pray this is a one time scare and that it hasn't spread. Hope your daughter gets better too!

Kemble said...

Ps: is this your new Xanga?! 😉

Lizzie Simantz said...

Ughh I'm so sorry to hear about Cheney and your Mom! I hope everything goes well and your little girl is back to herself again soon!

Ashley Carter said...
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Brittain Lorenz said...

How miserable disgusted with your own life to you have to be to put your negative thoughts and feelings on other people.  especially someone going through a difficult time that you truly can not comprehend the complex intrecasies of their life.  I pray you find peace in your own life so you no longer try and reflect it on other people.