I am doing the Beth Moore bible study on Esther with some girls from my small group. If you have never read anything by Beth Moore, you need to drive to your nearest bookstore and pick out one of her books. I love her. I love the way she makes things so easy to relate to & she seems so down to earth. Oh, and she cracks me up. Big bonus points for that.

Anyway, this week focused a lot on fear. She said something in our video last night that really rang true to me...she basically said that it's hard to really understand fear until you become a parent. Fear takes on a whole new meaning when you are responsible for another life.  When you love another person so much that you feel like your heart may burst.

I have so many new fears now. Irrational fears. When Grayson was a newborn, I was so paranoid about him suffocating while sleeping. I would check on him while he was sleeping. I would get Ben to check on him while he was sleeping. I would get that anxious feeling before bed & truly felt that if I didn't go peak on him before I went to sleep, that something terrible would happen. Although that fear has subsided there are new fears that come with him getting older. What if he falls and hits his head on the ground? What if we get in a car accident and he gets seriously hurt?  What if he chokes on something when I'm not looking? What if someone takes him? What if I fail him as a parent?

Those types of fears can be paralyzing, if you let them. Those are the types of fears that Satan uses against us. I know that it is completely normal as a parent to have these fears sometimes...but I certainly do not want to live my life always thinking "what if??"

I am so guilty of doing this. I know that some of those fears could possibly become a reality--but I am not going to live in fear. If one of my "what if" fears happens, then guess what? I have a loving God to get me through it. God was good yesterday & He will be good tomorrow.

"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." - Isaiah 41:13


Jonathan, Lindsay, and Brooks said...

Thank you for your post! I really must have needed that, because it definitely hit home and jerked a few tears...guilty ones I guess! My worst fear is What if he gets taken? (the news is filled with it) Or the car accident one...Anyway, thanks. God IS in total control and I easily forget that while I'm off being the control freak that I am. *deep breath*

Anonymous said...

What an amazing post! JUST what I needed to hear! And girl, I can totally relate. I have been accused of being a "worry wart" in my life. It was multiplied times 10 when Sutton was born. So thankful to have a God who knows my fears (though I'm sure He just laughs at how ridiculous I can be) and is in control. Can't imagine trying to do life without that hope.

Katy said...

That is such a great study. I did it last fall and really enjoyed it. Love Beth Moore and I really love Patricia Shirer too. Both are awesome. I did a study of Patricia's too and grew to really LOVE her. Fantastic women and you are so right about being a parent and having so many fears. I feel like that all the time. I just pray and pray! =)

Marci said...

What a great post! And so true! I'm guilty of all the same fears. I have just now relaxed on checking on Landon at night. I do still look in on him before I go to bed, but now if I get up to go to the restroom in the middle of the night, most of the time I'll refrain from going into his room. I try to keep in mind though that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7).
Thanks for posting this Laura!

Katie said...

I loved the Esther study when I did it! Such powerful lessons written into that study. I loved this post - thanks so much for sharing!